Brexit is coming, and it means Brexit and a cosy-up to Donald J Trump, but now there’s a tiny window where MPS could vote against triggering Article 50. So should they? Are you worth it?
Ditching the EU was never going to be an easy matter since the British economy has become ever more tangled within it for over four decades. Maybe it’s due to this complexity that Theresa May set course for a super hard Brexit during her first proper speech on the matter, even going as far as taking the UK completely out of the single market.
I’m not going to go on and on about the effect on the economy, jobs, the potential abolition of workers’ rights, and everything, and we all know how sick we all are of experts, but since we’re all selfish, and think only of ourselves anyway, and since “the people” were worth asking to decide about Brexit, here are a handful of the basic things which may well affect “the people” going forward.
Show Me The Money
Remember that bus? Yes I know it was later admitted by the Leave campaign to have been “a mistake”, but many believed it, and now the Brexit referendum appears to be binding (it actually isn’t but whatever, we’re leaving), so let’s look at the numbers.
£350 million a week sounds like an awful lot of money, especially to you and me, but let’s have a quick look at UK’s GDP for 2015. According to Wikipedia is was £2.311 trillion.
A quick calculation makes that £44.442 billion per week, so an EU subsidy of £350 million per week would account for roughly 0.8% of the UK’s GDP. To put this somewhat into perspective, it’s worth £2.27 of a minimum wage each week.
Now of course that number was proved again and again to be a lie by experts who we’re tired of listening to (apparently, see above), as it doesn’t take into account things like farm subsidies and science grants for instance, which the EU gives back to the UK.
The government has promised to pay these subsidies themselves after Brexit (at least until 2020), but considering that this is the very same government that is imposing perpetual austerity, and withdraws vitally needed benefits from severely disabled people while declaring them “fit for work”, if you believe they’ll pay those subsidies as the EU did, I’ve got a bridge to sell you, and lord knows, I need the money.
Every Little Helps
But let’s step away from politics and look at something more practical, like buying goods from abroad after Brexit for instance. I’m sure it’s happened to you before: you’re browsing and find something you’d like to purchase. It’s from the USA but even with shipping, it’s worth it, as it’s still much cheaper than getting it locally, so you click that “buy now” button. A few days later, instead of a parcel, you get a letter from Her Majesty’s Customs and Excise asking you to pay the VAT on those goods, along with a “handling fee” for the privilege of them having stopped your parcel. All of a sudden those cheap goods no longer look like such a bargain… Well, once the UK’s left the EU, the same thing will happen with anything you purchase from France, Germany, Austria, etc.
It’ll mean more money for the Treasury I guess, which is good news for Liz because someone’s going to have to pay for the renovations to Buck house, and it’s not going to be her!
The Queen must surely remember a time before the UK joined the EEC in 1973. Back then, her country was in a sorry state, still clinging to memories of its Empire, boiling everything in the kitchen and even making wine in the bathtub (probably because British wine tasted about the same, and exports were so expensive).
But listening to Theresa May’s speech, it’s like nothing’s changed in these 40 years, as she apparently still longed for the days of the Empire, stating that the offshoot of that period of global colonisation and oppression, the Commonwealth, is “a reminder of our unique and proud global relationships”.
Migrants Begone
Leaving the EU will also mean fewer migrants on these shores, and that alone makes Brexit worth it for so many xenophobic voters everywhere. But of course, these voters didn’t think for a minute of all the doctors, nurses and staff in our hospitals who actually come from other EU countries. With them gone, will they then complain when we’re struggling even more to get the staff needed to maintain our ever increasing use of the NHS (provided it still exists by then)? No doubt they will.
And that freedom of movement works both ways, you know: you didn’t feel it was valuable or amazingly unique for you or your children to be able to live, work and study in any of 27 different countries without needing any kind of visa. Who cares about that when Britain is so fantastic. Why would you want to leave, right?
Well that’s not what 1.2 million Brits think who happily live and/or work somewhere in the EU. Leaving the Union is going to cause major headaches for them. Those who work will be able to apply for a visa which either they or their employer will pay for (those things aren’t cheap), and if they can’t, back home to Blighty they go. But what about those who are retired, like your Aunt Jackie in Spain? It’s likely they won’t be able to stay indefinitely, and will have to come back to the glorious British Isles. After all, they can’t keep using a foreign nation’s health service for nothing, can they?
I Know What You’ll Do Next Summer
Oh and this’ll affect you when you go on holiday as well. While in the EU, if you visited Italy say, and something happened to you, you could use their hospitals free of charge, as you’d expect, if you had an accident anywhere in the UK. Post-Brexit? Better make sure you purchase excellent travel insurance from now on… and probably a holiday visa as well, but travel is still worth it, and isn’t Independence great?
And what about those outrageous roaming charges you get when using your phone on holiday abroad? Well, not before time, regulations are being set in place to remove all that. Soon you’ll be able to use your phone on holiday without having to remortgage your home as a result when you get back. Oh wait. That only applies to members of the EU. In fact Brits’ roaming charges may increase dramatically after Brexit, so it looks like they’ll have to keep their phones on airplane mode except for absolute emergencies when they travel to Germany, Greece, France in future.
It’ll be much cheaper to stick to folded maps instead of your phone for navigation, and this can only be a good thing: after all, if it was good enough for your parents, it’s good enough for you. And remember: nothing says independence more than arguing about how you’re supposed to get to where you’re going.
On your way back, you’ll also have to pay duty on anything you bring across the border of course. Soon, we’ll enjoy reliving the days of smuggling goods into the country, looking at the customs officer with trepidation, feeling jubilant when he lets you through or distraught as he and his team take your car apart looking for any contraband.
Let’s not forget those huge queues you used to skip at passport control because you were part of the Union and enjoyed a much more streamlined process. Mind you, since Brits practically invented queuing, they probably see that as a bonus.
And since the Pound Sterling has crashed to a 30 year low, it means everything will get more expensive, from holidays to anything we import, including food. But we’re all worth it, I’m sure.
The State of the Union
Looking back at the political situation, has anyone thought of Northern Ireland? They voted to Remain by 56%, but there’s a problem: one of the things the Good Friday Agreement depends on is open borders. With Brexit, goodbye open borders. What’s going to happen then? Perhaps this could be a good opportunity for reunification?
Like England, Wales voted to Leave, but considering it receives more money from the EU than it pays in, this just shows what experts they are at the new British pastime of repeatedly punching yourself in the face.
Haven’t you noticed that the “better on our own” rhetoric for leaving the EU was the exact opposite one used during the Scottish independence referendum? Back then it was all “we’re stronger together”. Most Scots firmly believed that, and strongly repeated that commitment with respect to the EU: 62% of them voted to Remain, and they’re definitely not happy about Theresa May’s hard Brexit stance, nor the fact that the Supreme Court ruled that their devolved administration will not be consulted prior to the triggering of Article 50, nor do they have a right of veto. This might actually trigger a second independence referendum which they could actually win this time. It can only be good news though: Brits have shown they’re all for independence, so it’s possible Scotland might become the EU’s newest member in a few years.
The Best Brexit Ever
So yes. Brexit. It’ll be wonderful. Who needs others anyway. And if you thought, like Theresa May did, that the USA might come and rescue the UK with an amazing trade deal, as President Trump appeared to hint at in a recent interview with Michael Gove, he blew those hopes away by clearly stating during his inauguration speech that it’s “America First” from now on.
It’s not like this was a surprise though: his trade chief had already stated that Brexit was a “god-given opportunity for Britain’s financial rivals”. Looking at what Lloyds of London is doing, it seems he was bang on the money.
In any case, should the UK really put its trust in a disseminator of alternative facts, and a committed conspiracy theorist? Is this really worth it? The White House couldn’t even spell Theresa May’s name right when she came to visit, which should be a clear sign right there.
Brexit Supreme
However, with the Supreme Court ruling which confirmed that the Government cannot trigger Article 50 unless authorised by Parliament, there was the dimmest glimmer of hope. When Owen Smith stated he will be voting against triggering Article 50, it seemed that glimmer might be getting brighter, and that we might be worth more after all.
But then Jeremy Corbyn’s gone and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like three-line whip. That’s right, this famous backbencher rebel, who himself voted against the whip on 428 occasions during Labour’s time in power, is demanding his MPs vote for Brexit. This is obviously causing consternation, but maybe this leader of the opposition actually wants his MPs to vote against him. After all, it’s what he would do!
So if you think you’re worth trying to convince your MP to vote against triggering Article 50, what have you got to lose?
Contact your MP now, before Parliament votes on the Brexit Bill, and echo Owen Smith by letting them know that they “cannot vote to trigger Article 50 on the wing and a prayer that Brexit will do as the prime minister says, and make Britain a fairer, more prosperous and equal society. I do not believe that is true.”
Otherwise, just you wait: in a few short years, the people of the United Kingdom of England and Wales will be spending their time boiling wine, eating beef in the bathtub, talking about the halcyon days of the Empire, and campaigning to bring the shilling back in circulation.
Note: the featured image of the EU with a missing star was borrowed from Times Higher Education, and if anyone knows the creator of this extremely fitting cartoon above, please let us know so we can credit them properly.
austerity, brexit, Donald Trump, EEC, England, EU, featured, independence referendum, Ireland, Michael Gove, NHS, POTUS, Scotland, subsidies, Theresa May, Wales
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